What to Look for in a Therapist

Finding the Therapist for You

Finding the right therapist can be a bit like dating—it takes time, patience, and a bit of trial and error. It’s not a one-size-fits-all situation, and what works for one person might not work for another. But don't worry! I'm here to help you navigate this process. Let's break down where to start, what to ask, and what qualities to look for in a therapist who’s right for you.

Where to Find a Therapist

Online Directories

The first step in finding a therapist is knowing where to look. There are a few common directories you can search, like Psychology Today and TherapyDen. Both sites are very user-friendly. Just type in your city, and voilà, a list of therapists in your area appears. You can see their photos, read their bios, and get an idea of their specialties and backgrounds. It’s a great way to see your options and start narrowing down your choices.

Local Agencies and Universities

If you’re looking for more affordable options, many local agencies offer low-cost counseling services. For example, in Orange County, the Irvine Community Counseling Center run by Pepperdine University is a fantastic option. They work on a sliding scale, meaning the fee is based on your income, which makes therapy more accessible.

Referrals from Doctors and Friends

Don’t underestimate the power of referrals. Your primary care doctor often has a network of therapists they trust and refer patients to regularly. Friends and family members can also be a great resource. If they’ve had positive experiences with a therapist, it might be worth checking that therapist out.

Shopping Around and Making Contact

Read Profiles and Websites

Once you’ve identified a few potential therapists, it’s time to do a little more digging. Read through their profiles on Psychology Today or their websites. This can give you a better sense of their approach and whether they might be a good fit for you. Pay attention to how they describe their practice and their specialties.

Initial Phone Calls

After narrowing down your options, reach out to the therapists who stand out to you. Most therapists offer a free phone consultation. Use this time to ask important questions like:

• What is your educational background?

• Where did you go to school?

• What are your credentials?

• Do you accept my insurance?

• What is your approach to therapy?

This initial conversation can help you get a feel for the therapist’s personality and whether you might click with them.

Qualities to Look for in a Therapist

building trust and rapport

The relationship between you and your therapist is crucial. You need to feel comfortable and safe to open up about your thoughts and feelings. Trust and rapport don’t develop overnight, but you should get a sense during the first session if the potential for a good relationship is there. If you don’t feel a connection right away, give it a few sessions to see if things improve.

Flexibility in Approach

Therapy isn’t a one-size-fits-all situation. A good therapist should be flexible in their approach, tailoring their methods to fit your unique needs. This might involve integrating different therapeutic techniques and interventions to find what works best for you.

Relevant Experience and Specialties

Check the therapist’s specialties and areas of expertise. If you’re dealing with anxiety, find a therapist who specializes in anxiety disorders. If you’re seeking help for relationship issues, look for someone with experience in couples therapy. The more aligned their expertise is with your needs, the more effective the therapy is likely to be.

Finding the Right Fit

Take Your Time

Finding the right therapist can take time, and that’s okay. Don’t rush the process. It’s important to find someone who you feel comfortable with and who understands your needs. Remember, it’s perfectly fine to switch therapists if you feel like the first one isn’t the right fit.

Listen to Your Gut

Trust your instincts. If something doesn’t feel right, it’s okay to keep looking. Therapy is a personal journey, and you deserve to work with someone who makes you feel supported and understood.

Keep an Open Mind

Sometimes, the therapist you click with might not be who you expected. Keep an open mind during your search. You might be surprised by who you connect with and who helps you the most.

Embrace the Journey

Finding the right therapist can feel overwhelming, but it’s a journey worth taking. With these tips in mind, you’re well-equipped to start your search. Remember to be patient, trust your instincts, and don’t be afraid to shop around until you find the right fit. Therapy can be a transformative experience, and having the right therapist by your side makes all the difference.

Getting Organized When You Have Anxiety

Understanding the Link Between Anxiety and Disorganization

We all know that anxiety can make even the simplest tasks feel overwhelming. When you're constantly juggling worries and stress, staying organized can seem like an impossible feat. But fear not! As a therapist, I've worked with many clients facing the same struggle. In this blog, I'll share some practical, casual, and relaxed tips to help you get organized, even when anxiety is getting in the way.

How Anxiety Impacts Organization

Anxiety can cause a whirlwind of thoughts, making it hard to focus on tasks at hand. This often leads to disorganization, which in turn can heighten anxiety—creating a vicious cycle. When you're anxious, your brain is in overdrive, constantly jumping from one worry to the next. This can make it difficult to plan, prioritize, and stay on top of things.

Personal Experience with Anxiety and Organization

I get it. I've been there too, feeling like I'm drowning in a sea of to-do lists and deadlines. But the good news is, there are ways to manage both your anxiety and your organizational skills. It just takes a bit of patience, practice, and the right strategies.

Practical Tips for Getting Organized

Start with a Brain Dump

One of the best ways to start getting organized is by doing a brain dump. This simply means getting all your thoughts, tasks, and worries out of your head and onto paper. It can be incredibly freeing and give you a clearer picture of what needs to be done.

How to Do a Brain Dump

1. Find a Quiet Space: Sit somewhere quiet where you won't be interrupted.

2. Write It All Down: Grab a pen and paper, and write down everything that's on your mind. Don't worry about organizing it just yet.

3. Review and Prioritize: Once everything is down on paper, review your list and start to prioritize. What needs to be done today? What can wait?

Creating a Realistic To-Do List

Keep It Simple

When creating a to-do list, it's important to keep it simple and realistic. Avoid overwhelming yourself with too many tasks. Focus on the most important and urgent items first.

Tips for an Effective To-Do List

1. Limit Your Tasks: Aim for no more than 5-7 tasks per day.

2. Break Down Big Tasks: If a task feels too big, break it down into smaller, more manageable steps.

3. Use Positive Language: Instead of writing "Don't forget to..." use positive language like "Remember to..."

Setting Up a Routine

The Power of Routine

Routines can provide structure and predictability, which can be very soothing for an anxious mind. A good routine helps you know what to expect, reducing the mental load of decision-making throughout the day.

Creating Your Routine

1. Morning Routine: Start your day with a consistent morning routine. This could include activities like a short meditation, a healthy breakfast, or a quick workout.

2. Work Routine: Set specific times for work tasks and breaks. Use tools like the Pomodoro Technique to stay focused.

3. Evening Routine: Wind down with a relaxing evening routine. This could involve reading, journaling, or a warm bath.

Using Tools and Apps

Digital Tools for Organization

There are numerous apps and tools designed to help you stay organized. Find the ones that work best for you and your lifestyle:

1. Trello: Great for project management and keeping track of tasks.

2. Todoist: A user-friendly to-do list app.

3. Evernote: Perfect for note-taking and organizing ideas.

Physical Tools for Organization

If digital tools aren't your thing, there are plenty of physical tools that can help you stay organized:

1. Planner: A physical planner can help you keep track of your schedule and to-do lists.

2. Bullet Journal: A flexible and customizable way to organize your tasks and thoughts.

3. Whiteboard: Great for visualizing your tasks and priorities.

Decluttering Your Space

The Importance of a Clean Space

A cluttered space can contribute to a cluttered mind. Taking the time to declutter and organize your physical space can have a significant impact on your mental clarity and reduce anxiety.

Tips for Decluttering

1. Start Small: Begin with one area, like your desk or a single drawer.

2. Set a Timer: Give yourself a set amount of time to declutter, like 15-30 minutes.

3. Use the Four-Box Method: Label four boxes: Keep, Donate, Trash, and Relocate. Sort your items accordingly.

Practicing Mindfulness

The Benefits of Mindfulness for Anxiety

Mindfulness involves staying present and fully engaging with the current moment. Practicing mindfulness can help you manage anxiety and improve your focus, making it easier to stay organized.

Simple Mindfulness Practices

1. Mindful Breathing: Take a few minutes each day to focus on your breath. Inhale deeply through your nose, hold for a few seconds, and exhale slowly through your mouth.

2. Body Scan: Lie down or sit comfortably. Close your eyes and bring your attention to different parts of your body, starting from your toes and moving up to your head.

3. Mindful Walking: Take a walk outside and pay attention to your surroundings. Notice the sights, sounds, and smells.

Seeking Support

Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for Help

Sometimes, getting organized can feel overwhelming, especially when you're dealing with anxiety. It's important to remember that it's okay to ask for help:

1. Friends and Family: Reach out to loved ones who can offer support and encouragement.

2. Therapists and Counselors: A therapist can help you develop strategies to manage anxiety and stay organized.

3. Support Groups: Consider joining a support group for people dealing with anxiety. Sharing your experiences and hearing from others can be incredibly beneficial.

Building Healthy Habits

The Role of Healthy Habits in Organization

Building healthy habits can create a strong foundation for staying organized. When you take care of your physical and mental health, you're better equipped to handle daily tasks and reduce anxiety.

Healthy Habits to Incorporate

1. Regular Exercise: Aim for at least 30 minutes of physical activity most days of the week.

2. Balanced Diet: Eat a variety of nutritious foods to fuel your body and mind.

3. Adequate Sleep: Prioritize getting 7-9 hours of sleep each night.

You’ve Got This!

Getting organized when you have anxiety can be challenging, but it's definitely doable. By implementing these strategies and taking things one step at a time, you can create a more manageable routine and reduce your stress levels. Remember, it's all about finding what works best for you and being kind to yourself along the way. If you have any questions or need further support, feel free to reach out—I’d love to hear from you!

Surviving the Holiday Hustle: Your Guide to a Stress-Free Season

Stress-Free Holiday Tips: How to Navigate the Season with Ease

The holidays are often seen as the most magical time of the year, filled with joy, family, and festivities. But let’s be real, they can also be a major source of stress, anxiety, and even dread. There are plenty of reasons why the holiday season might not be your favorite time of the year. Maybe you're not close with family, don’t have anywhere to go, or just feel overwhelmed by the endless to-do lists. Even if you do love the holidays, it's normal to feel stressed and exhausted at some point. And guess what? That's totally okay.

This blog isn’t here to rain on the holiday parade but to share some tips to make the season a bit easier and more enjoyable. Whether you're feeling stressed out or simply want to make the most of the holidays, these tips are for you—and for all my therapist friends, they might be great for your clients too! 😊

Be Prepared for the Holiday Season

Plan Ahead and Know Your Triggers

First things first: be prepared. If the holidays tend to bring you down or stress you out, start planning ahead. Knowing what triggers your stress and anxiety can help you manage it better. Take some time to think about what specifically makes this time of year tough for you. Once you’ve identified your triggers, you can come up with a plan to handle them. Maybe it’s scheduling some alone time, setting boundaries, or simply being aware of your feelings. Whatever it is, being prepared can make a huge difference.

Take Time for Yourself Every Day

Self-Care Isn’t Just a Buzzword

Self-care is crucial, especially during the holiday season. With so many moving parts—people coming and going, prepping for guests, hosting events—it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. The holidays often come with a never-ending to-do list that can leave you feeling like you’re constantly running on empty.

Even if your schedule is packed, carve out a little time each day just for you. Do something you enjoy, even if it’s just a few minutes. It could be as simple as savoring a cup of coffee in the morning, reading a book, or taking a short walk. These small moments of self-care can help recharge your batteries and make the rest of the day feel more manageable.

Set Boundaries and Stick to Them

Boundaries: Easier Said Than Done

Boundaries can be tough, especially around the holidays. Family and friends might have high expectations, and it’s easy to get roped into doing more than you can handle. Maybe someone asks you to host an extra dinner or buy another gift. It all adds up quickly.

Set clear boundaries early on and communicate them to your loved ones. Let them know what you can and cannot do. It might feel awkward or difficult at first, but trust me, it’s worth it. Setting boundaries helps protect your mental health and ensures you’re not stretching yourself too thin.

Set a Budget and Stick to It

Financial Stress Is Real

The holiday season can be a financial strain. It’s tempting to go all out and buy perfect gifts for everyone, but that can lead to stress and regret later. Before you start shopping, set a budget. Decide how much you want to spend on each person and stick to it. Having a budget helps you avoid the financial hangover that often follows the holidays and allows you to enjoy the season without the added stress of money worries.

Enjoy the Little Moments

Savor the Simple Joys

Amidst all the hustle and bustle, don’t forget to enjoy the little moments. The holidays aren’t just about big events and perfect Instagram posts. Sometimes, the simplest things bring the most joy. Whether it’s watching a holiday movie, baking cookies, or just hanging out with loved ones, these small moments are what make the season special.

Don’t Be Afraid to Say No

Prioritize Your Well-Being

The holidays often come with a million invitations and obligations. It’s okay to say no. You don’t have to attend every event or participate in every activity. Listen to your body and mind, and do what feels right for you. Saying no when you need to can help reduce stress and make the holidays more enjoyable.

Stay Active

Keep Moving

Staying active during the holiday season can help manage stress and improve your mood. Whether it’s a brisk walk around the neighborhood, a yoga session, or even a dance party in your living room, find ways to keep moving. Exercise releases endorphins, which can boost your overall well-being and help you feel more balanced.

Seek Support When Needed

It’s Okay to Ask for Help

If you’re struggling during the holidays, don’t hesitate to seek support. Whether it’s talking to a friend, family member, or therapist, reaching out for help can make a big difference. You don’t have to go through it alone. There are people who care about you and want to support you.

Create New Traditions

Make the Holidays Your Own

If old traditions bring you more stress than joy, why not create new ones? Starting new traditions that are meaningful and enjoyable for you can bring a fresh perspective to the holiday season. Whether it’s a new holiday recipe, a fun activity, or a new way of celebrating, creating new traditions can make the holidays more special.

Practice Gratitude

Focus on the Good

Practicing gratitude can help shift your focus from what’s stressing you out to what you’re thankful for. Take a moment each day to reflect on what you’re grateful for, whether it’s the people in your life, your health, or simple pleasures. Practicing gratitude can improve your overall outlook and make the holiday season more enjoyable.

Conclusion: Navigate the Holidays with Ease

So there you have it! The holidays can be a wonderful time, but they can also be stressful and exhausting. Whether you’re hosting or traveling, these tips can help make the season more manageable. Remember, the holidays are about joy and togetherness. By preparing ahead, setting boundaries, and taking care of yourself, you can navigate the holiday hustle with ease and maybe even enjoy it a little more.

Happy holidays, everyone! 🎄

Parenting in the Digital Age: Navigating Screen Time and Raising Balanced Kids

Practical Tips for Managing Kids’ Screen Time

Let’s face it: screens are everywhere. From smartphones to tablets, technology is a huge part of our daily lives. While screens can be educational and entertaining, too much screen time can be detrimental to kids' development. So, how do we strike a balance? Here are some friendly, practical tips to help manage your child's screen time and promote a healthier lifestyle.

Make Homework a Priority

Schoolwork First, Screens Later

Homework should always come before screen time. We’ve all heard the classic, "I'll start my homework in 10 minutes," which often turns into an hour (or more). To prevent procrastination, establish a rule that homework must be completed before any recreational screen time. This sets a clear priority and helps kids understand the importance of their schoolwork.

Create a Homework-Friendly Environment

Set up a designated homework space that is free from distractions. Ensure this area is well-lit, quiet, and stocked with all the necessary supplies. Having a specific place for homework can help kids stay focused and make the transition from school to home a bit smoother.

Limit Screen Time

Set Daily Limits

The amount of screen time kids get these days is astounding. To manage this, set a daily screen time limit that includes both school-related and recreational use. While it’s unrealistic to eliminate screens entirely, setting a reasonable limit helps kids balance their activities.

Be Consistent

Consistency is key. Once you set the limits, stick to them. If the daily screen time limit is two hours, make sure it’s enforced. This consistency helps children understand boundaries and the importance of adhering to them.

Set Restrictions on Electronic Devices

Utilize Parental Controls

Most devices have built-in parental controls that allow you to set restrictions on apps and websites. Use these features to block access to social media and other distractions during homework time. This can help kids stay on task and avoid the temptation of sneaking in some screen time.

Monitor Online Activity

Keep an eye on what your kids are doing online. Regularly check their browsing history and the apps they use. This not only ensures they’re staying safe but also helps you understand their digital habits and guide them appropriately.

Encourage Outside Hobbies or Activities

Promote Physical Activities

Encourage your kids to engage in physical activities outside of school. Whether it’s joining a sports team, taking up a hobby like biking, or simply playing in the backyard, physical activity is crucial for their overall development. Plus, it provides a much-needed break from screens.

Schedule Family Time

Plan regular family activities that don’t involve screens. This could be anything from board games and cooking together to hiking and exploring nature. These activities not only reduce screen time but also strengthen family bonds.

Create a Balanced Routine

Establish a Daily Schedule

Creating a balanced daily routine helps kids manage their time effectively. Include time for homework, chores, physical activities, and yes, some screen time too. A well-structured day ensures that they get a healthy mix of activities.

Prioritize Sleep

Screens can interfere with sleep, especially if used right before bedtime. Establish a no-screens rule at least an hour before bed and encourage relaxing activities like reading or listening to calming music instead.

Educate About Screen Time

Explain the Impact

Talk to your kids about the effects of too much screen time. Explain how it can impact their health, sleep, and school performance. Educating them helps them understand why limits are necessary and encourages them to make healthier choices on their own.

Lead by Example

Kids often mimic their parents' behavior. Set a good example by managing your own screen time and engaging in offline activities. Show them that life beyond screens is fulfilling and enjoyable.

Foster Social Connections

Encourage Face-to-Face Interactions

Encourage your kids to spend time with friends in person rather than just online. Playdates, group activities, and family gatherings help them develop social skills and build stronger, real-life connections.

Limit Social Media

While social media can be a way to stay connected, it can also lead to issues like cyberbullying and social comparison. Monitor their social media use and encourage more meaningful, offline interactions.

Balance Technology with Nature

Nature Time

Make it a habit to spend time in nature. Whether it's a weekend hike, a visit to the park, or even gardening at home, connecting with nature has numerous benefits for kids. It reduces stress, promotes physical health, and provides a refreshing break from screens.

Digital Detox Days

Implement regular digital detox days where the whole family takes a break from screens. Use this time to engage in outdoor activities, arts and crafts, or other creative pursuits. It’s a great way to recharge and reconnect.

Raising Kids in the Age of the Internet

Navigating the world of screens and technology can be challenging, but it’s not impossible. By setting clear boundaries, promoting offline activities, and leading by example, you can help your kids develop a healthy relationship with technology. Remember, it’s all about balance. Encourage your children to enjoy the benefits of technology while also exploring the world beyond the screen.

Raising kids in the digital age is no easy feat, but with these tips, you can help them thrive both online and offline. As always, if you have any questions or need further guidance, feel free to reach out. Happy parenting!

What is the Difference Between a Psychiatrist, Psychologist, Therapist and Life Coach?

The Different Titles for Mental Health Professionals & What They Mean

If you are looking into receiving mental health, it can be really confusing. Whether you are researching on your own or your doctor is giving you recommendations and referrals, there are a lot of different words and terms thrown out there and it can be confusing and frustrating. This is a more technical blog than I typically write, but my goal for this blog is to lay out the different titles you might hear when it comes to mental health professionals in an easy way for you to understand, so you can find out which will best fit your needs! 

What is a psychiatrist?

Let’s start with a psychiatrist. To put it simply, a psychiatrist is a doctor. They have their PhD and went to medical school to specialize in diagnosing and treating mental illness. When it comes to schooling, a psychiatrist attends medical school, does one year of medical internship and then three years of residency before taking their licensing exams. A psychiatrist is able to prescribe medication to help treat anxiety, depression, etc. Typically, you aren’t going to see a psychiatrist once a week like you will with a therapist or psychologist. Most likely, you were referred to a psychiatrist for medication purposes and their job is to prescribe and monitor. How often you see a psychiatrist is really up to them and what they think is appropriate for you and the medications you are taking. 

What is a psychologist?

Now onto a psychologist. The main difference between a psychologist and a psychiatrist is prescribing medication. A psychologist didn’t go to medical school and can’t prescribe medication. A psychologist and a therapist are actually very similar. Psychologists typically spend longer in school as they have a doctorate degree. In the doctorate program, assessment, research and teaching are focused on heavily. A lot of government jobs like the prison system require a doctorate degree in order to gain employment. In the state of California, Psychologists work under the Board of Behavioral Sciences. The Board of Behavioral Sciences is responsible for licensing and enforcing ethical standards. Individuals striving to become a psychologist have to complete a certain amount of hours and have a certain amount of supervision hours before they can take the licensing exams. People interested in receiving services from a licensed psychologist can verify their license through the Board of Behavioral Sciences as well as report any problems they have had with a psychologist. Psychologists typically see client’s once a week and specialize in a wide variety of mental health topics. 

What is a therapist?

Again, a therapist is very similar to a psychologist. The difference is a therapist does not have to have a doctorate degree, but they can. However, a therapist does have to have a master’s degree. When it comes to therapists you might hear the terms Marriage and Family Therapist (MFT) and Licensed Professional Clinical Counselors (LPCC). When you hear the words marriage and family therapy, you probably think they only specialize in marriage and family and the LPCC specialize in everything else. This is what I thought when I first started in the field, but it’s actually incorrect. Those terms are essentially the degrees the professional has obtained. An MFT is trained in all areas of mental health from substance abuse to marriage, and can have a wide range of clientele. Same goes for an LPCC. Therapists typically see clients once a week and focus on a broad range of issues, just like psychologists. Another similarity is that therapists work under the Board of Behavioral Sciences just like psychologists. They also have to perform a certain amount of hours and they have to have to have a certain number of supervised hours. Just like psychologists, therapists are held to a very high ethical standard and have to take a law and ethics exam in addition to the licensing exam.   

What is a life coach?

Finally, we have a life coach. A life coach focuses less on the past and focuses heavily on the future. Life coaches are very goal oriented and support, encourage and educate their clients about the future and their goals. A life coach doesn’t have to have a specific degree and there are no licensing requirements. With that being said, there are a lot of great program certifications and training’s life coaches can take to learn more. 

Mental Health Takes a village 

My supervisor always talks about how it takes a village when it comes to mental health, and it is really so true. Psychologist and therapists work hand in hand and very frequently collaborate with psychiatrists. In addition to the titles I mentioned, mental health professionals also work closely with teachers, law enforcement, probation officers, social workers and more. It takes a team, which is what I think makes this field so cool. I hope I explained each title in the mental health world clearly and helped you decipher the differences between them all. If you have any further questions or comments regarding this topic, give me a call, I would love to hear from you!